Manuscripts with POV (point of view) all over the place: John stifled a yawn as Mr Rogers droned on and on about targets and financial reports. He was tempted to rest his head on the boardroom table and drift into oblivion. Dave Rogers hated the sound of his own voice. Looking around the room, he could see several people had zoned out already. He cleared his throat, and attempted to lighten the tone.
Writing like real life. “Ey-up darlin’, ows aboot we gor onna wanda, like. Nor wotta I mean?”
Characters not showing emotion. They go through life (or the book) without feeling shy, frightened, jealous, regretful. This doesn’t apply to anger somehow. There are a lot of angry characters out there.
Minor characters. I know all about the minor characters; from their eye colour to the type of pants they wear and then they are gone. Vanished back inside the author’s head, leaving the reader wondering what was their significance. Remember, if the character’s role is brief the reader doesn’t even have to know his name.
Show don’t tell. I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but what does it mean? Basically, telling is moving the story along quickly, which can make it feel flat if it’s done too often or at the wrong time. Telling: She thought the flowers had a lovely scent.
And showing: She buried her face in the blooms, and inhaled deeply with a satisfied sigh.
But is telling so bad? After all, some well-known authors do it to tie up the ends as the novel draws to a close. So yes, a little telling is OK as long as it’s not all the time and especially not during a crucial moment in the plot.
Editing. Speaks for itself really. I’ve made mistakes with Eden and didn’t get it professionally edited after I redrafted it. Don’t make my mistake. It’s hard to be subjective with your own work. Go professional.
Irrelevant detail. As with minor characters above, irrelevant detail will bore the reader and cause them to skip pages. You don’t have to describe your character’s eating habits and every minute detail of their life like a running commentary.
Pompous words. Don’t show off with your knowledge of long, or strange words. You’ll end up looking like a plonker: Marcel assembled himself in the chair and beheld John from across the boardroom. Dave Rogers was trying to vaccinate a diminutive wittiness into the conference, but everyone had fallen into slumber. John’s crown was even somnolent! Marcel cleared his oesophagus and elevated a hand. ‘May I advocate a caffeine cessation?’
Speech Tags. She directed, she shouted, she argued, she retaliated… she said is fine! It is an invisible word “argued”, “returned”, “protested” are not.
Clichés. Within speech, fine. Outside, no. Avoid them. They will weaken your otherwise fine story.
Background. I’ve read novels with the main characters wandering through a shopping mall on a Saturday afternoon, but strangely they seem to be the only people there! Bring in background noise, crowds, smells, unruly children, the heat or cold. In other words, flesh it out.
Research. Do your research. With Google Earth you can visit places from your living room. Also, people love to talk about their profession and if you tell them you’re writing a book they will be very pleased to share their experience. Just don’t guess – readers are reviewers and will be sure to tell you of your mistakes.
Common Words. Everyone has a favourite word. Find yours and be wary of repeating it. This does NOT apply to “said”!
Below are just a few of my favourite “how to” books. The links in red will take you to Amazon UK. Link on the actual book for Amazon.com. Alternatively, look over to the right and find “my picks”. These are all “how to” books especially picked for the aspiring writer.
http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=wiswor0a-21&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=0333714350&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifrPitch to Publication by Carol Blake